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It's Getting Fishy in the General Assembly

March 9, 2019

All was going swimmingly in the general assembly. It looked like democracy was moving efficiently and the unmoderated caucuses had produced a number of promising bundles of ideas on the topic of water sustainability and supply. However, the moment a moderated debate began, new and interesting topics were brought into the pool. Various disputes quickly arose ashore. One tense arguing point between blocks was the mention of a hypothetical fish.


The Republic of the Marshall Islands made a fishy statement comparing the donation of funds towards an issue without accompanying education as “giving a man a fish rather than teaching him to fish.” The delegation of Pakistan had a whale of an issue with this statement. Surely the Republic did not mean to compare their aid plan to a simple fish? How insensitive, and frankly insulting, would that be? Not to mention the sleight to all of the delegations in the room that did not have enough water to support fish let alone the ability to go fishing for them.  Thankfully, upon clarification, it was shown that no such offense had been intended. It was made clear that the Republic of the Marshall Islands had no ill will towards fish, aquariums, fishless nations, or plans made by Pakistan, and certainly did not believe the two were equal. The delegates were most definitely keeping in mind that if there were no aid towards maintaining water supplies that fish would be in some serious trouble.


All in all a very trying session in the general assembly. Our delegates hard at work wading through the difficulties of finding solutions to real world crises such as preventing the appropriation of fish terminology. Truly a momentous achievement we can all be proud of. #justkeepswimming


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