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Crisis in the Security Council!

March 10, 2019

A virtual hack attack on the kidnapping of a United States delegate and the twitter account of the President of the United States of America, with source speculated to be the Kremlin, has kicked off a crisis and accompanying a heated debate in the Security Council. America’s delegation has stated that this is an “attack not only on the president bit on the entire nation.” They have further stated that they blame president Putin individually and that President Trump would be launching  a digital counter attack.

 

The Council’s response to this was a largely bemused one. The representative of the United kingdom voiced the opinion of many by stating doubt that “ [President] Trump has the mental capability” for such an attack. The delegation of the Dominican Republic stated that clearly this attack could not be Russian in origin as there is no reason why Russian would want the US to have free healthcare.

 

South Africa suggested a new task force to be put into place codenamed Conservation Of International Treaties Under Stress (COITUS), to remediate the concerns brought on by this crisis.

 

President Trump himself made an appearance at the council. The POTUS claimed not to be scared of “Poutine and his mafia” and that his “hair is real” and Russian claims to the contrary are fake news. The council repeatedly declined to hold a q and a with the President, despite many requests by the American delegation.

 

More updates are forthcoming as the situation develops...

 

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