According to an article published yesterday by Russia Today there was a terrible and cowardly attempt to poison the Russian Delegate. Yet another tragic event taking place in the ill-fated Security Council one must suppose. However, when interviewed in the press conference today the Delegation of Russia assured other delegates that they need not be worried. The representative claimed not to be concerned by these “petty” attacks, that these “weak poisons” are “no true threat”.
However, it is the opinion of this reporter that there was a far more intriguing statement hidden in one of the other comments made in the interview. The delegation of Russia stated confidently that all attacks on Russia, verbal or chemical perhaps, were really “only a detriment to other members.” Awfully confident for someone being poisoned, unless they were hiding something…
Is the Russian Delegate secretly planning on revenge? Are they a secret immortal with no fear of poisons? Has this poisoning simply been a hoax from the beginning?
We leave these questions to you, reader. Perhaps it will always be a mystery.
*Photo is from The Princess Bride where they discuss mithridatism. Which is the practice of consuming small, but gradually increasing, quantities of poison in order to build up an immunity and resistence to fatal doses.